Part 3- My Cross
I laid here this evening, doing like I have the past few weeks, reading, researching, trying to let my heart be truly receptive to what He is trying to tell me. Then as I’m flipping through a new book I started reading called the 5 love languages for men, I heard a term that I’ve never heard before. I had the TV on but was not paying a lot of attention to it. I had Netflix searched a series called TEDTalks and was just letting it play in the background. A couple of episodes came on and I would casually glance up from my book to see what the speaker was trying to teach. Well I hear a term from a young lady, she said it’s called “Post Traumatic Growth”…so I instantly look up and rewind it to find out what exactly she was talking about. As I listen to her, I realize she is talking about the exact thing that I am going through right now. So I started researching it….this is what I found:
What is post traumatic growth?
It is positive change experienced as a result of the struggle with a major life crisis or a traumatic event. Although we coined the term post traumatic growth, the idea that human beings can be changed by their encounters with life challenges, sometimes in radically positive ways, is not new. The theme is present in ancient spiritual and religious traditions, literature, and philosophy. What is reasonably new is the systematic study of this phenomenon by psychologists, social workers, counselors, and scholars in other traditions of clinical practice and scientific investigation.
What forms does posttraumatic growth take? Posttraumatic growth tends to occur in five general areas. (This is where it gets eerily spot on to what I am experiencing).
1. Sometimes people who must face major life crises develop a sense that new opportunities have emerged from the struggle, opening up possibilities that were not present before.
2. A second area is a change in relationships with others. Some people experience closer relationships with some specific people, and they can also experience an increased sense of connection to others who suffer.
3. A third area of possible change is an increased sense of one’s own strength – “if I lived through that, I can face anything”.
4. A fourth aspect of posttraumatic growth experienced by some people is a greater appreciation for life in general.
(Here it comes…drum roll)
5. The fifth area involves the spiritual or religious domain. Some individuals experience a deepening of their spiritual lives, however, this deepening can also involve a significant change in one’s belief system
All of these 5 things have been exactly what I am going through.
So back to what I called on my spiritual friends for today. I reached out because I think God not only wanted to wake me up, but he wants me to help him wake up others. I believe he wants me to publicly tell my story, to churches, to veterans, to anyone that will listen. So that’s what I have decided to pursue. I’ve always had a “special gift”, I’ve always been able to draw people towards me, friends calling me in extreme times of need, sometimes calling me to actually end their lives while talking to me….I always battled that, thought why would God do that to me? Doesn’t He know what I’ve been through? Why does He keep doing this to me? Well the answer is clear as day….yes He knew exactly what he was doing to me, He was preparing me to be His Man of Resolve.
When you look at your life, what do you see? Do you see a history of lessons learned or failures you keep repeating? Do you see a man who listens to instructions or listens to rebuke what he hears? We should developed the mindset that each time we fail that once is more than enough and then quickly adjust our course in order not to relive our life of wreckage.
I truly believe I’m stepping out of the dark now, this time I Resolve to never look back. I need each one of you to also hold me accountable in this journey, and I will always reach out to those that feel this way and want to come with me.